Cullens Meet Blogging
by ShinyLipGloss
Summary: Esme discovers a new magical thing called blogging, and the Cullen family becomes OBSESSED. Rated T cuz I'm paranoid...much better than it sounds...I stink at summaries.


A/N: **A wee bit OOC, hmm...OK, maybe alot...but then again, this is my goof off story...ye-ah...so...this is awkward...I'll just start the story now, shall I?**

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_Screen names:_

**iseetehfuture-Alice**

**urEMOTIONSrmine-Jasper**

**ihazanewborn-Bella**

**idazzleu-Edward**

**SEXYdoc-Carlisle**

**veggiemama-Esme**

**SUPERBLAH-Emmett**

**MRS. SUPERBLAH-Rosalie**

_Warning: names may change through out the story...and, the SUPERBLAH stuff, let's just hope you've seen the 'Demented Cartoon Movie'...if you haven't, I strongly recommended seeing it._

**_

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_****_Cullens Meet Blogging_**

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**The Sexy Doc's Blog**

Hello lovely...er...internet people? GAH. I'm sooo bad at this kind of introduction...'specially on the internet when I'm not actually talking face to face...and ESME my WIFE is making me do this...I blame this all on her. Meh. Well, I have a few rules I must state for my 'lovely' and '_obediant' _children.

Emmett: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO COLOR THE WALL WITH PERMANAT MARKERS! The smell gives me a headache...And you're not allowed to have sex anywhere besides your bedroom...it's honestly disgusting to be sitting on a couch that has been covered in sex with who knows how many times.

Jasper: Never, EVER throw Edward through the ceiling AGAIN! Do you actually know how much it cost to get that fixed?!?!?!? A MILLION DOLLARS!!!!! SO IF YOU DARE TRY THAT AGAIN, SO HELP ME I'LL KILL YOU AND BURY YOU IN THE BACKYARD AND DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE TILL MORNING!!

Alice: Please, PLEASE stop flipping over the couch and all the furniture in site whenever you get angry...I've had to cover up for you _toooo _many times, and next time I'll be telling Esme...consider your self lucky that I've been merciful the past few times.

Rosalie: The next time I catch you giving my wardrobe...you die. And Emmett will not SCARE OFF THE ALMIGHTY CARLISLE!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

Bella: You're an angel...you do nothing.

Edward: NEVER STEAL MY BEAUTIFUL BOXERS _AGAIN_!!!!!!!!!!! NEXT TIME YOU DO I'LL THROW YOU OUT ON THE STREET!!!! SO HELP ME, I WILL!! AND I'LL GET BELLA TO HELP ME DEVISE A BRILLINAT SCHEME TO MAKE YOU SUFFER!!!!

I'm done...au revior. Till we meet again...er, actually...I'll actually be _writing_, but who cares. This is the 21st century anyways...

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**COMMENTS 3/11/O9, 7:23:**

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ROSALIE HALE:

I-I'm hurt....me? I'm innocent. Why-why would I ever do _that_? Pfft. Really, Carlisle...you make up such weird stories...

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JASPER HALE:

BWAHAHAHAHA! Don't make me laugh, Rosalie...you _innocent_? HAH! I'll pay two million dollars the day I see that happen!

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ESME CULLEN:

I think you set the rules very well, my sexy doctor......BUT ALICE HAS BEEN FLIPPING OVER THE FURNITURE WHEN SHE'S BEEN ANGRY?!?!?!?!?!?! MUST DIIIIEEEEE! Jasper, sweetie? TELL ME WHERE ALICE IS NOW!

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JASPER HALE:

New York.

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ESME CULLEN:

ALAS! I must go at once...good-bye, sexy!

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EMMETT CULLEN:

Um....CARLISLE!!! I've never colored the wall with permanat markers...that's-that's sooo childish....why would I, an-an adult ever do that??? I wonder about you...um, Carlisle...heh...

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EDWARD CULLEN:

Hah! Emmett, I hate to break it too you, but you're childish...and I'm supposedly the 'youngest'...

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BELLA CULLEN:

Aw, shucks, Carlisle...you're making me blush...Of _course _I'm an angel...

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ALICE CULLEN:

A devil, you mean.

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CARLISLE CULLEN:

If you guys want to chat so much...._puh-lease _just use the chat, your newly found obession besides blogging...

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**Chat title: **_CARLISLEMAKESUPTHINGSTHATAREN'TTRUEANDPLASTERSTHEMALLOVERTHEINTERNETMAKINGHISLOVELYCHILDRENLOOKINGLIKEDEVILS_

SUPERBLAH: I has a bored...

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Don't care

SUPERBLAH: My own wife...

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Live with it

SUPERBLAH: What if I don't want to?

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Oh well

_idazzleu has asked permission to join the chat_

SUPERBLAH: Shall we grant him his wish?

MRS. SUPERBLAH: He'll kill my car if we don't, probably...and I don't know about you, but I rather value my car...

SUPERBLAH: Craaaap...my moment of power has ended...

_SUPERBLAH has given permission to idazzleu_

idazzleu: Emmett, you've never been powerful

SUPERBLAH: You weren't supposed to see that!!

idazzleu: Too bad, I did

MRS. SUPERBLAH: And what's with the name?!?!

idazzleu: Um...

SUPERBLAH: *laughing loudly* You-you don't dazzle people

idazzleu: How do you know?

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Boys are sooo stupid...

idazzleu: I've been insulted

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Got that right

SUPERBLAH: This chat is boring...it needs more 'spice' to it...

MRS. SUPERBLAH: ARE YOU CALLING ME BORING?!?!?!

SUPERBLAH: Did I say boring? Nah...

idazzleu: It looked like he said boring to me...

SUPERBLAH: I hate you, Edward

idazzleu: Likewise

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Idiots!

idazzleu: I'm touched

SUPERBLAH: Honestly

_ihazanewborn, iseetehfuture, and urEMOTIONSrmine has asked permission to join this chat_

SUPERBLAH: Hmm, so _so _tempted to say no...

idazzleu: Your death

SUPERBLAH: Meanie

idazzleu: I know

MRS. SUPERBLAH: IDIOTS!

_SUPERBLAH has given permission to ihazanewborn, iseetehfuture, and urEMOTIONSrmine_

ihazanewborn: Who's an idiot?

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Really, Bella...your brains amaze me at times

idazzleu: Your fat ass amazes me...

urEMOTIONSrmine: LOL

iseetehfuture: *sigh* Well, Emmett...looks like this chat is getting 'spiced up'

SUPERBLAH: Crap. You saw that?

iseetehfuture: Yup

SUPERBLAH: How? *says in suspicious tone*

iseetehfuture: I know things

idazzleu: _Of _course...

iseetehfuture: *watches Demented Cartoon Movie*

SUPERBLAH: With out me?!?!?

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Or me?

iseetehfuture: *evil grin*

idazzleu: You guys do know that this is Alice's 30th time watching this...?

SUPERBLAH: GAAASP

ihazanewborn: Idiot

urEMOTIONSrmine: Tell me about it

ihazanewborn: Oh, hi Jasper...forgot you were there

urEMOTIONSrmine: I feel loved

ihazanewborn: XD

SUPERBLAH: I'm bored...want to go hunting...

urEMOTIONSrmine: I VOLUNTEER EDWARD!

ihazanewborn: I've already claimed him for the rest of the day...

idazzleu: How so?

ihazanewborn: Well, Renesmee and Jake are gone...so I was thinking...

idazzleu: Ooh lala...I like this plan

SUPERBLAH: You peoples are sick

ihazanewborn: I know we are

idazzleu: Ah, I love those images that have just filled my mind...

MRS. SUPERBLAH: TOO MUCH INFORMATION

ihazanewborn: I know...you and you're-

iseetehfuture: EEW! I'M GOING NOW!

urEMOTIONSrmine: DITTO

_iseetehfuture and urEMOTIONSrmine have left this chat_

SUPERBLAH: I'm...um...just gonna go and watch the Demented Cartoon Movie

MRS. SUPERBLAH: I thought you were _dying _to go hunting...

ihazanewborn: I'm logging off, Edward and I have some *cough* business to attend too

_ihazanewborn has left this chat_

idazzleu: Eh, me too. Have fun, Rose and Emmy!

_idazzleu has left this chat_

SUPERBLAH: Hah! Everyone's GONE! MWAHAHAHA!

MRS. SUPERBLAH: Remind me why we're married again?

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End file.
